I need my father now

Today was like one of the worst days of my lives.I slept for only 2 hours last night.I had to go to my university today for my project.It was fine in the morning except for the fact that my head was getting heavy and it was aching very badly.I reached home in the evening but couldn't get a chance to take rest.I called my in-laws in late evening and got to know that the surgery or what so ever of my father-in-law is not that simple.In fact it is kinda complicated and risky.As soon as i heard these words out of my mother-in-law's mouth,my head started banging.I felt as if someone has pierced a dagger into my chest.I felt a lot of pain.It sounds quite dramatic but it is the reality.I didn't know what to say at that moment.I completely blanked.

I called my fiancé after a while and revealed my feelings to him but he simply said that i should have faith in Allah.I texted him later on and told him that i want to come to the hospital at the time of surgery and gave him very logical reason that when my dad died,my mom and bro rushed to the nearby hospital but they left me at home.And my dad never returned.....

After discussing that with my fiancé,i started thinking about my dad.It made me cry a lot but i had no one to share my feelings at that time.I didn't want to panic my fiancé so i kept my feelings to myself.I kept on thinking and realized that my father-in-law is as much important to me as was my own father.The level of fear,love and affection is exactly the same.I don't know what other people think about this but all i know is that my feelings are sincere and i really really want to be with my abu.May Allah give my abu a very long life.I don't care about my life.I am willing to give away my life if thats what it takes to save him.All I know is that I am not strong enough to lose my father again and no one can understand my true feelings for my abu ji.I am not good in revealing my feelings verbally,writing is my only refuge through which i can express what i actually feel
.I want my abu to be healthy and fine and want to spend a lot of time with him.
Please Allah!!have mercy on me and make my abu fine.I need him

Rain

I don't like living in Pakistan.It is not because i don't love my country,its because i am more of a "LIVING IN COLD,RAINY PLACE" kind of person.I don't like heat or anything associated with it.I don't like the scorching heat of the sun.Rather i prefer rains and thunderstorms.I am most of the time in bad mood because of this summer heat.I am waiting for monsoon to arrive but its going to be a long wait.I hope it wouldn't end up like last year when there was very little rain falls in the monsoon season.

Thinking about rains and monsoons has reminded me of one such afternoon when i was out with my fiancé.We went to fortress because i wanted to buy some dvds.We were totally wet when we finally returned to the car because it was raining heavily.I was loving everything at that time.I was feeling kinda cold so he held my hand.The touch of his skin provide soothing warmth to my whole existence.I felt butterflies in my stomach.

Just looking at his face makes my face to glow as if this is some kind of teenage romance.When he is around,i forget everything around me.He is the most important part of my life.NO!!let me rephrase it, "HE IS MY LIFE." I can't wait to get married and spend the rest of my life with the person i love the most.

JEET K GEO

I had fun watching match last night.Pakistan has finally qualified for the semi finals...In your face everybody esp INDIA

I just hope that we made it to the finals as well and bring back the cup again

KEEPING MY FINGERS CROSSED

*DISAPPOINTMENT*

Sometimes your loved ones disappoint you so badly that you even forget what to say.I don't know what I am doing,why I am writing,what I have in my mind....The worst part is that I have no idea how to defend myself.Even when deep down in my heart,i know that i am on the right track,i find it really hard to tell this to the other person. I lack convincing power.What should i do if i have this annoying sensitive nature.How to change it????Sometimes i feel like complaining to my Lord that why has he made me this sensitive.WHY?????
I spent the entire night tossing and turning on my bed,I am not able to sleep,I am not able to eat,I am a mess right now....
I hate it when someone lie to me,and what i hate more is the invasion of any third person in my relationship but I am really disappointed this time
I don't need advices of that third person,Just let me be the way I am
I think I'm going into isolation,where i'll be alone,no one to talk to,no one to care for and no one to question because that is all i need right now. I am tired of the questions, i am tired of the fights and i am tired of myself....
I am really sorry that i disappoint you all the time.So i'll stay away from you and all other people around me.May be then all of you people will realize my importance!!!!!!!!!!!!

dulhan hum le jayenge

I'm totally in love with this song today.Its so shadi shadi =P
ab aa bhi ja mere Raja =P apni dulhan le jao

Uff teri ada

I am loving this song today.It made me dance today and then i felt some pain in my arm and leg and realized that i'm still bruised =P

Anyways I am vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv happy today.Everything seems so perfect right now.So this is my moment of pleasure and i am sure reading this post some time later will make me remind how happy i was and it will definitely make me smile.

STEREO LOVE

this song is my latest love these days.....

LOVE

I love you loads my cupcake,my sunshine,my angel,my life.....Never make my cry again,muuaaaahhh,muuaaaaaahhh,muuaaaaaaahh *HUGZ n KISSES*

POSSIBILTY!!!this is how i feel whenever i've a fight with you

There's a Possibility
There's a Possibility
All that I have was all I'm gon' get.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

There's a Possibility
There's a Possibility
All I'm gonna get,is gonna be yours then
All I'm gonna get is gonna be yours then

So tell me you hear my heart stop
You're the only one that knows
Tell me when you hear my silence
There a possibility I wouldn't know

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Know that when you leav
Know that when you leave
By blood and by me,you walk like a thief
By blood and by me and I'll fall when you leave

So tell me when you hear my heart stops,
You're the only one that know
Tell me when you hear my silence
there's a possibility I wouldn't know

So tell when my silence's over
You're the reason why I'm close
Tell when you hear me falling
there's a possibility it wouldn't show

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

By blood and by me and I'll fall when you leave
By blood and by lead,I'll follow your lead

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
mmmmmmmmmmmmm

My feelings for you

My feelings for you are so strong that sometimes i feel scared.I love you way too much.I feel that no one can love anyone this much as I do.You will always be my priority and i'm always scared of losing you because deep down i know that i won't be able to live without you.

So why did you feel bad when i was crying for you.You asked me why i was crying and i said that is because i missed you.Why do you hate me this much when i cry?This is how i am.Why don't you accept this thing.I can't help it.I cry quite often and mostly without any reason.

Your text messages make me smile.Your phone calls make my day.Your presence is my sole reason to live.You will never get to know how much i love you.I am still confused that what made you so mad at me tonight but i don't have the courage to ask you because I am really scared of your anger.I had a lot in my mind at that time.I still have a number of things going on in my mind but all these questions will remain unanswered.You would never know how i was feeling tonight and this night will pass like this.I love you a lot and that is why i'll not ask you anything.You've a right to scold me.

Seismophobia

Everyone is scared of some thing.But when your fear overcomes all your senses for a while,it is called a phobia.I also have such phobia.I am really scared of earthquakes so i have seismophobia.The thought of earth shaking beneath my feet scares the hell out of me.I lose control over all my senses and most important of all,I cannot feel my legs in such a situation which is really terrifying for me.It is really hard for me to move at that time.

I am scared of earthquake not only because i can't feel my legs or anything.It is also because it is associated with my other phobias also as i am afraid of darkness and i am also claustrophobic.So I start thinking that if my house will collapse,i'll be trapped inside.There would be darkness all around me and no air or light.I think i'll never be able to overcome this fear of mine.

Lamingtons

I came across this yummy recipe online and so wanted to share it.It is easy to make,tastes delicious and very easy to make so here it goes:

Lamingtons

Ingredients:

- Plain sponge cake 1 lb

- Icing sugar 1 cup

- Cocoa powder 1/3 cup

- Butter 15 grams

- Milk 1/2 cup

- Desiccated coconut 1 cup

How to prepare chocolate icing

Start off by putting icing sugar and cocoa powder into a pan and add softened butter and milk to it.

- Stir with a wooden spoon to mix it thoroughly.

- Keep stirring constantly till icing is of good coating consistency.

METHOD:

- Purchase the cake or make it a day before.

- Thinly trim the brown top and sides of the cake and cut it into 10-12 even square pieces.

- Using a fork, dip the pieces into the chocolate icing and hold over a bowl for a few minutes to drain off excess chocolate.

- Coat the cake pieces individually with desiccated coconut or sprinkle coconut over the cake evenly.

- Place on wire rack until completely dry.

Review of UP

Animated movies grab the attention of all, whether it is a kid or his mom. One of the reasons for their popularity is probably that they can be watched with family and you can have a perfect evening with your family by watching animated movies and having tea and snacks, a perfect family time. Movies like Ice Age, Shrek, Wall-E, Happy feet will always be watched.

One addition in the category of these films is UP, a new Disney movie. It’s an animated film.The story is about Fredricksen who married a girl named Ellie and they both were adventure loving and wanted to build a house in Paradise Falls, South America.

Ellie died after 70 years but Fredricksen never forgot the promise he made to Ellie of making a house there so he moved his house up in the air by using thousands of balloons. An 8 year old boy Russel accompanied him in this journey. They encountered talking dogs, a rare bird and an evil explorer when they reached lost land. The movie is all about the fact that how they reached the Paradise Falls and how they saved the rare bird from the wicked explorer and evil creepy talking dogs.

WORST DAY

Okay so this is one of the worst days of my life and the reasons for making this day worse are:

1. I slept for 2 hours only so severe headache

2. Something fishy fishy is going on between two of my friends and they are keeping it a secret so i am hating them

3. I came home quite late and didn't get a chance to take a nap

4. I scolded my students because of their poor performance in their tests and two of them cried a lot but they deserved this.

5. Honey kinda ignored me today because of the work load in his office so feeling very insecure.

6.All sleep gone and headache is killing me.

7. A friend disappointed me badly.

8. Grandmother is ill today so feeling scared.I don't want to lose her.

9.I've to go to uni tomorrow,can't sleep now and going to be very ill now

10. Pissed off,pissed off,pissed off

Fun with friends

My friends came to my place today.We had loads of fun.Although i was feeling very sleepy but still i managed to wake up at 9:30.Bushra,Aisha,Sadaf and Usman came to my place at 10:15.We discussed our final project.Then i started cooking for them.I made macaroni.Aisha came with me in the kitchen and started cutting the carrots.She was really happy that she contributed a bit in my cooking as she doesn't even know the ABC of cooking.Afterwards i asked sadaf to come and help me.We started talking about horror dramas and movies.Suddenly we heard this voice saying CHALO,we started screaming and we were scared to death.Only when turned around,it was aisha and she was also shocked at our reaction.Sadaf was holding two knives in her hands at that time and both of the knives were pointed in aisha's direction.I served the food after that.We ate well.Usman left earlier because he had to go for his internship.We started discussing our project then.We jotted down many ideas but the one which all of us liked was of making a horror drama.We started discussing horror stories then.We all were in one blanket as we were feeling very cold.Anyways we were quite terrified after discussing all those horror stories.

We finalized a very nice horror story.After all this work thing,we decided to watch 3 idiots.It was so much fun watching that movie with friends.Bushra and Sadaf left around 6.They missed the second half of the film.Then me and aisha went to market to buy some snacks,not to mention the two dogs which scared us on our way back home.Luckily a boy was riding a cycle there and he came out to be my student's brother.I asked him to stay with us until we reach home safely.After coming home,i made popcorns and started watching the remaining half of the movie.We laughed like maniacs.After that,Aisha also left

I will never forget this day as i really enjoyed a lot.May our friendship grow stonger and stronger with every passing day.Love you my girlies =)

My name is Khan

I watched this Indian film,MY NAME IS KHAN,khan from the epiglottis,hehehehehe,well it was fun watching it.I really appreciate that an Indian has made this film.And this is so true that after 9/11, lives of Muslims have totally changed. If you are a Muslim,you are hated by all others. But why?We're not terrorists and we have nothing to do with 9/11 and those who claim their responsibility for 9/11 and all other suicide attacks,they are not Muslims.They cannot be Muslims because Islam is not a religion who preach violence. Rather its a religion which preaches peace and harmony among people.This is so not fair that the Muslims have to face all the wrath and disrespect of other nations.This is injustice.Being a Muslim doesn't mean that we are terrorists.

I AM A MUSLIM AND I AM NOT A TERRORIST

My Immortal!!!!!

I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me, me, me

Crispy Fried Chicken

Cooking is my latest craze these days.I am really enjoying it.It feels so good when you cook something and get appreciation from others.Well,today i made crispy fried chicken and tomato sauce and believe me,it was very delicious.I would made them more often now as they tasted really yummy.

THE BAKING OF CUPCAKES

Today was a fun day for me.I went to my Aunt's place. My cousin and I decided to bake chocolate frosted cupcakes.Well first of all,we gathered all the ingredients.Then started the real work.My cousin grinded the sugar first.Then she added butter in it and asked me to add two eggs in it.She also told me that i am an expert in cracking the eggs,lol.Anyways then I mixed all purpose flour,baking powder and baking soda.When i was putting flour in the bowl,my cousin told me that this jar is jammed so there was another small opening of the jar from where i started putting it in the bowl and then all of a sudden,the jammed lid of the jar was loosened *MAGIC* and all the flour was on the shelf,hehehehehehe,then we made a cone of the paper on which we had written the recipe and put the flour back into the jar.We kept on beating the batter for like 20 minutes.At first,it was a clear nice liquid but when i put the flour mixture and cream in it,it became very dry and weird,lol.Then we added milk in it to thin the mixture.We were also supposed to add chocolate in it.My mom instructed my cousin to melt the chocolate in the microwave oven and that was a disaster.Some portion of the chocolate got stuck to the plate and was burned along with the plate.Anyways i put rest of the chocolate in the batter.Then my cousin asked my uncle to switch on the oven.Okay so now this is a thing which i am really scared of.I cannot burn an oven on my own.I am scared for no particular reason.May be that thumping sound scares me a little bit.Anyways then we put the batter into the baking pans and put them in the ovens.We both were kinda worried regarding the sweetness of the cupcakes but thankGod it all went well.Our grandmother liked them the most and told us that we are experts in baking ;).Our brother pointed about the sugar thing though but we tried to ignore that

That is how i celebrated my Valentine's day,baking with my cousin but it was real fun and we had a great time together =)

Down by Jay Sean

I love this song. I have a special affiliation with this song as I have chosen this song as my ringtone to my fiance's calls.

I feel so good when this song is played whenever my love call because he is the one who is always there for me whenever i am feeling down. So I love this song and I love my fiance'........

Winters

Winter is my favorite season. Winters last only for two months in the place I am living. So I try to enjoy each and every moment of this magnificent season.

I love fog in winters as it is so romantic

I love to sleep in warm blankets and quilts

I love this feeling when everything outside is cold and my bedroom is all cosy

I love to eat dry fruits in winters while watching my favourite tv sitcom

I love this feeling when my fiancé hugs me when we are out so that I won’t get cold.

I love to have yummy soups

I love to take hot chocolate and coffee

I love to wear warm clothes, shawls and sweaters

I love to read novels all snuggled up in my blanket

I love to go for long drives with my fiancé

I love late night talks in winters

I love to sit in front of my heater all day

In short, I love everything about winters and I really want them to last forever

=)

you are the most important person in my life and i will never let you go my cupcake =)

LOVE OF MY LIFE

"Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails."

I never thought i'll be able to love anyone because i was quite a self centered person,always thinking about myself but he changed my life forever...I always felt weird when my friends told me stories about their love lives that how can you give so much care to one single person.I know the answer now after meeting him.He is the best thing ever happened to me.Now i can say this boldly that i care for him more than myself.I'll do anything for him because he is my LIFE now and I love him a lot

How to save a life.....

This is one of my favourite songs and i feel so much at ease after listening to this song....

Misery!!!

these are my feelings for tonight

Obviously there is no one to listen so I am writing them down

Its so hard to accept all this like i really need a shoulder to cry right now but check out my luck,i don't have any

I don't know where all my family members,the love of my life and all my friends are.....guess every one is busy in their own lives and yeah its so true that when u're happy,every one is around you but when you are feeling down,not even a single person comes close to you to share your sorrows.Probably they would be thinking that GOsh!!!she is always crying,whats so new in it,we're so sick and tired of her crying and complaining all the time

but no one looks deep down into my heart that how i am actually feeling.So here i am telling this to myself now because as i said there is no one to listen yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay,lucky me =)

Anyways so now i wanna say this that i hate light,i hate mornings,i hate sunlight,i hate flowers,i hate happiness and i hate chirping of birds,laughter of people,i hate all those things which give me any kind of hope.This is how my life is going to be forever,Dark,gloomy and depressing and i know that nobody cares and i dont know why i am even writing this.I am insane person who want to isolate herself from this world forever n ever

If There's...

If there's one face I want to see,
so beautiful, so true,
one smile that makes a difference,
to everything I do.

If there's one touch I long to feel,
one voice I long to hear,
whenever I am happy,
or just needing someone near.

If there's one joy, one love,
from which I never want to part,
it's you, my very special love,
my world, my life, my heart